Everything You Need to Know About Chinese Tea Ceremony
What is Tea Ceremony?
In Chinese weddings, tea ceremony remains one of the most significant traditions, where the newlyweds show their respect to the elders in their families, and they in turn show their acceptance of the marriage. The couple, dressed in traditional wedding garments, kneel before their relatives, and serve them tea. The parents and in-laws are the key recipients, as well as other relatives such as grandparents, aunts and uncles.
What Do You Need for Tea Ceremony?
Here is a list of things you need for the tea ceremony!
A stovetop or electric kettle to boil water for the tea
Any Chinese tea (A Chinese red tea is the most common)
A red Chinese tea set. Most commonly used is a set with the Chinese characters 囍, signifying double happiness
Red dates, lotus seeds, and lily (optional). Respectively, these signify luck, the arrival of children, and marriage longevity.
Two pillows, one for each of the couple to kneel as a sign of respect
Two chairs for the family member receiving the tea to sit on
Who Attends the Tea Ceremony?
The couple, their parents, and other close family members (ex. aunts, uncles, grandparents), attend the tea ceremony. Unmarried cousins and siblings are not required to attend. Members of the bridal party usually assist with the tea ceremony, such as pouring tea, handing the teacups to the couple, and washing the cups.
Where Does the Tea Ceremony Take Place?
If you are hosting two separate ceremonies, you would traditionally honor the groom’s family first at his house, followed by the bride’s family in her house. Alternatively, if you are hosting a ceremony with both families present, the groom’s family would still be served first, but at a common location (eg. a private room at your venue).
What Order Should You Serve the Tea?
Traditionally, tea is served to the groom’s side first, followed by the bride’s side. However, many couples choose to alternate between the two families. Parents are always served first, followed by other relatives/elders in descending order of age.
Parents
Grandparents
Aunts and Uncles
How Do You Present the Tea?
Couples would kneel on the pillows in front of the tea receivers (the general rule is that the bride is on the left, and groom is on the right). Tea is then offered to the receiver with both hands as a sign of respect, along with the phrase “[Family member name/chinese kinship term], please have some tea”. The receiver then drinks the tea (they do not have to finish it!), offers their gifts of lai see (red envelopes of money and/or gold jewelry) for the couple, and speak a few wise words and best wishes.
What Gifts Are Given at the Tea Ceremony?
Lai see (red envelopes) containing cash (a symbol of luck and good fortune) is most common. This cash amount usually has some symbol to it (eg. lucky numbers such as $88). Gold jewelry is also offered, with dragon and phoenix symbols on them (they signify power and good luck respectively). If the gold jewelry is enclosed in the red envelope, they do not need to be put on right away. However, if they are presented outright, its important to put them on right away, otherwise it is seen as disrespect.
When Should You Host Your Tea Ceremony?
The timeline for the tea ceremony varies depending on how wedding timeline looks. Typically tea ceremonies are hosted before getting ready, and last around 30 minutes to an hour depending on how many family members are served tea. Tea ceremony usually takes place at the start of the day, so that the couple can get changed into their modern wedding attire right after. To check out how to plan out your wedding day, be sure to check out our blog post about the perfect timeline for the perfect wedding!
